Labels

I was making myself a delicious nutella sandwich when I started pondering about life and love and the meaning of everything. Careful: hazelnuts and chocolate can have a dangerous effect on your mental stability. Anyways, at some point I started wondering “who am I?” and realized that I was answering with labels. So many labels, that I got lost in them!

  • I’m a cisgendered woman.
  • I’m white.
  • I’m french-canadian.
  • I’m bilingual.
  • I’m queer.
  • I’m bipolar.
  • I’m a young adult.
  • I’m a middle-child.
  • I’m kinda geeky.
  • I’m an introvert.
  • I’m a people person.
  • I’m outgoing.
  • I’m a hermit.
  • I’m a nature-lover.
  • I’m a technology-lover.
  • I’m a walking contradiction.

Why all the labels? Why do we feel that it’s so important to identify with them? I mean, if I wanted to go to a support group that fit my needs I’d have to create it, host it, and be the only attendee. I understand that they help us categorize people because that is what our brains do – and I do it all the time. Everybody uses labels to define themselves and others. Without even realizing it we assign them to family members, friends, coworkers, strangers. But when we define ourselves, when we go through changes and are trying to sort things out, doesn’t it make it harder? I know the labels I identify with have stopped me from trying out new things in the past. I hope they won’t in the future – after all, labels are just words, not rules.

What about your labels? Do they make you feel stronger? Or do you feel that they are a burden in your life, or that they stop you? Are there labels you like and some you don’t?

How To: Play The Sims after a breakup

Ever wonder how you could ever play again the famous game “The Sims”, when your one true love has left you? Well, wonder no more! Here is the step-by-step guide on how to start that first game you were not itching to play:

Source: thesims.com
Maybe I should remove the pool ladder…  Source: thesims.com

 

  1. Browse Facebook aimlessly.
  2. Start sobbing because you miss your ex.
  3. Decide to do something that will change your mind.
  4. Look through all your games and find an old copy of The Sims.
  5. Let the nostalgia kick-in. Reinstall the game because you’ve changed computer twice since you bought it.
  6. Start a new family.
  7. Make one character look just like your ex (depending on your skills, this might not be completely true).
  8. Make one character look just like you (same thing applies here).
  9. Build a magnificent house. The house you two will never have…
  10. Start a family. Your significant other would have been such a good parent.
  11. Start sobbing again. You were so good together!
  12. Realize you’re a complete idiot.
  13. Close the game.
  14. Go stalk your ex’s timeline.

And here you have it! Did you find this guide helpful? Let me know what counter-productive things you do when trying to get over a breakup in the comments!

Feelings and Craziness

Hey everyone,

Do you know about “the feelings”? Or rather the FEELINGS. It’s not always easy to keep your emotions in touch when you’re a relatively healthy person. When you have an illness that plays with those emotions, it becomes even more difficult. I spent the last couple weeks in the joyful bliss of hypomania. I was happy, life was good, everything was funny (ok… almost). I think the good times have come to an end. I’ve been having vivid, slightly disturbing dreams lately. Usually when I start remembering my dreams, it means I’m going through an important switch. Luckily, they weren’t as horrifying as usual. I guess the meds help there too. I’ve also started having to deal with anger. Anger towards a colleague who slacks off all day, or towards my ex who removes me from an event without having the decency to give me a heads up. Of course, the anger is completely deserved… but the burning feeling I can feel in my chest is too intense.

I’m not in a depressive state yet. I’m still laughing and generally happy. But I know the signs. It always starts with the anger. Sometimes, the anger becomes so intense, I get into terrible fights with people that I really love and end up not talking to them for a very long time. Usually, when the anger starts, so does the suicidal ideation. It’s never something serious at the beginning. It’s just random thoughts that pop into my head, and I’m usually good at dismissing them. But after it gets worse. So much worse. I hope it doesn’t get that far this time. I really hope the meds will help. The crippling anxiety, the paranoia, the exhaustion, the hopelessness… I’ve given.

I’m determined to fight it. I won’t let the depression put me down once again. I’m a good person, with flaws and qualities like everyone else. I deserve to be a respectable amount of happy and sad – not a “I’ve gone mad” level. Every day that I wake up, I’ll remember this: “I love life, and I love myself, and so do my friends and family. I am fun to be around, and it is worth it to stay alive.” Maybe I should write it on my ceiling… In big rainbow letter!

On a very different note, Sunday I went playing sword wars with friends. We used foam weapons and shields, and it was INCREDIBLE. This is one of my new favourite activities. You do sports, sweat, spend time outside, look like a complete idiot, all the while having fun! Best. Thing. Ever.

I hope you guys enjoyed your week-end! Stay strong and positive!